Pissweak Pestles Mortify

What a load of shit.



Here's my other one.

It's not like I hit them that hard.

Shithouse.

Orsm Beer Osso Bucco

Osso Bucco has been my winter value flavour hit. At around $5 a kilo you can't go past the thick slabs of veal wrapped around crazy marrow bone eyes.

Here's my variation of Larousse Gastronomique's Osso Bucco a la milanaise cooked last night.

Om Nom Nom Nom's Dark Beer Osso Bucco
serves 2

2 big osso buccos, 1 onion, 1 bottle of dark beer, 2 garlic bulbs, 1 cup of stock, 1 can of diced tomatoes, assorted vegetables like carrot, fennel and celery, salt, pepper and flour.

Your first task in preparing this noble dishe is to get yourself married or engaged...


And put one of these big boys on your wedding registry.
Surely that's the only way people get these. I didn't. It's Lucy's. She maintains she's never been married or engaged before we met. I find it hard to believe but after using one, woah... they're great.
If you don't have one, use something big with a lid.

Once you've walked down the isle, made a fuck of yourself at your reception and had your wallet taken from you by monkeys at your honeymoon...



Pour yourself a big fat foreign dark beer. Put some in a cup for later, get the pot hot with oil and get yer meat outta the fridge.


Season lots with salt and pepper (a cheeky pile of salt on the marrow bit), and dust with flour. Then brown them big beauties both sides in the oil.

Chop and add the onions and when they soften..
Pour in at least a cup of beer. While that is reducing, get the can of tomatoes from the pantry and play the Farken Shithouse Can Opener game.
This time I had some tomato pasta sauce left over from earlier in the week which I used instead of the can of tomatoes. That's the deal with making osso bucco or any other dish like this. Lots depend on the ingredients you use. Real stock always beats cubes and fresh made tomato sauce beats the canned tomatoes. No big need to use fresh tomatoes though.

So while that's boiling away with a cup of stock, chop up some vegetables you have lazing about in the bottom of your crisper. Here I cut up equal quantities of carrot, celery and fennel. Fennel rocks. Also add the chopped garlic and some fresh herbs like thyme or parsely. Do what you like but don't go too wacky. Thai basil would suck balls.
Close the lid and muck about for at least an hour. THE LONGER THE BETTER. Maybe mash some potatoes or make up some couscous or rice to serve with. Oh yeah, gremolata (parsely, lemond rind and garlic pulsed to buggery), should be made to add as a tasty garnish.
After all that time is should look brown and saucy.
Serve on mashed potatoes and if you don't want to suck the marrow out of the bones, call me over and I'll suck it out for you.

Yes, the phone camera doesn't do it much justice. Let's use the flash.

You get the idea.