Sunday, October 12, 2008

Bill Grainger's Mysterious Reducing Hair Trauma

Sydney celebrity chef, Bill Grainger disturbs me.

His books and cooking shows check out. Bit prancy but mostly easy to follow recipes. Saw him live at one of those cooking shows. He did scrambled eggs. Use cream, butter and a hot pan. Don't muck around. Fry eggs quick, flip and get the hell out. Good advice.

Nope, there's nothing wrong with Bills (his books and restaurants don't use an apostrophe) cooking.

It's Bills hair that winds me up.

Bills paranoid about balding. Pick up any of his books, look at the photos and I'll guarantee you won't see the top of his head. The shot is either from a strange upwards angle, from behind, in a strange light, far away or even cropped at the forehead, chopping off the top of his head altogether.

Watch his cooking shows and the same thing happens. He comes across onscreen as almost effete but sheesh, he must run his shoots with anger a la Monsieur Mick Malthouse.

"If you so much as show a teaspoon sized bit of my bald spot I will shove this spatula so far down your cakehole you'll be ordering porridge everyday until first day of cherry season!"

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